Troy looked terrible the next morning. I had to buy him some Scope so he could get the stench of alcohol off his breath. His eyes avoided mine. His face was pale grey.
Around noon, a sixty-two year old man dropped on a city bus. We were there in three minutes. He was in v-fib on the monitor. Troy shocked him at 200. He went flat line. I started CPR while Troy intubated him. I noticed the bag wasn’t reinflating quickly. Troy looked confused. Melnick and his partner had arrived to back us up. Melnick listened to the man’s chest as Troy squeezed the bag. He switched his stethoscope to the belly. “You’re in the stomach,” he said.
“What?” Troy said.
“Listen for yourself, or look at his belly. It’s getting bigger. You’re in the esophagus, you have to take it out.”
Troy tried twice more, but couldn’t get it in. I’d never seen Troy have such trouble. He’d never missed a tube before. Andrew had to push him out of the way and take over. Despite Andrew getting the intubation on his first attempt, the man remained asystole, and was pronounced dead at the hospital.
“What’s up with Troy?” Andrew asked in the EMS room afterwards.
“Nothing,” I said. “Everyone’s entitled to a bad day.” I walked away.
“Troy looks terrible,” Linda said that afternoon when we’d stopped back at the office to resupply and wash the vomit out of the rig. “I just asked him how he was. He completely blew me off.”
“He’s in a funk.”
“Did something happen?”
“He just missed a tube.”
“You’re kidding? Troy?”
“Yeah, he’s in a deep funk.”
“Do you think there’s anything I can do?”
“Call dispatch and ask them to go easy on us. Try to keep it BLS.”
“I can do that.”
“If we can get him through the day, maybe he’ll be better tomorrow.”
They posted us at Capitol and Broad next to 462. When a call came in they gave it to 62, then sent another car down to sit with us. The next call went to the other car. It went on like that for three hours. Troy didn’t even notice. When we were sitting there, Annie Moore came up and gave Troy her big smile. “Hey, handsome, I’ve feeling real lucky. I know today I’ll be a winner.”
He took out his wallet, handed her a twenty, and before she could say anything, used the automatic button to roll up the window.
“What’s up with him?” she said to me after she came had back around the corner from the liquor store as I was on my way in for a coffee.
“He’s moody,” I said.
“He’s gonna make me sad, but as long as he keeps giving me twenties, he’ll never break my heart.” She smiled at me as she stuffed the change in her pocket.
“I think you ought to take some time off,” I finally said to Troy. “Maybe take a whole month. You need to get out of here, clear your head of everything that has happened. People won’t think it’s strange.”
He didn’t say anything.
“You’re not doing anyone any favors coming to work like this. Did you even sleep last night?”
He looked straight ahead. He looked like a man condemned.
