Sunday, July 06, 2008

"You Know You're a Paramedic When..."

The topic of the week at the Normal Sinus collective blog is “You know you’re a paramedic when..."

Contributor's posts should be up later this afternoon.

Here's my take:

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You Know You're a Paramedic When...

At the movies you find yourself noticing the veins in movie stars arms as much as their looks.

At youth sporting events you are the only person who does not rise from his seat when a youngster bangs his knee and falls to the ground crying. Yet you still applaud heartily when the youth finally gets to his feet and runs off field.*

In a crowded restaurant you are the first person to notice a person turning blue is actually choking.

You ask the phlebotomist at the doctor’s office if you can stick yourself (after she has already missed twice).

You can sleep soundly in an ambulance and only wake up when your ambulance number is called.

You are as a nimble at dodging vomit as an Olympic slalom skier is at dodging gates.

You can get off the scene of a bad trauma before the news crews arrive.

Every now and then you still pop the tops off the epi and bristojet at the same time for old times sake.

You either have a second job or you make almost as much in overtime as you do in regular pay.

You would rather not think about what you will have to do for work on the day you are too old or beat up to work as a paramedic.

You think they don’t make medics like they used to.

You would rather have someone put a bullet in your brain than put you in a nursing home.

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* Years ago we had a company softball team that played in a regular competitive softball league. I remember one day, the opposing team's catcher took a throw from the outfield that skipped off the ground and then hit him right in the mouth. He sat on his knees spitting out blood and teeth, and the other team was all gathered around him, and talking about calling an ambulance, and we, a bunch of paramedics and EMTs, were sitting on our bench, chewing sunflower seeds and saying, "He's alert, he's breathing. Be a man and get up."

We played another team where one of their players slide into second base and then lay there writhing in apparent agony. His teammates picked him up and carried him back to the bench. Their next player hit a double and the same thing happened. He slid into second and then lay there writhing on the ground. Again, his teammates ran out and picked him up and carried him off the field. One of the playerss carrying him was the guy who had been "injured" on the previous play.